Gut Feelings

I feel marvelously ahead on reading. I chalk it up to my tablet allowing me to read books a little more inexpensively than would otherwise be.

Right now, I'm close to the end of Lab Rat One, the second book in the Touchstone Trilogy, and I've paused for now to savor it. It's so fun! I will likely re-read this series more than once. I also started Tigerlily, the sequel to Pinelight (which I will be reviewing here tomorrow) and I really like it as well. To cap it all off, I'm about halfway through a clever little novel, book one in The Toadhouse Trilogy.

Back in the day, I used to do stuff like that, read three books at a time. I'd let my mind get comfortable in one, and later, when I picked up another one, it was always a little jarring to transition between worlds like that. Jarring, but fun. Lately, I've even been getting that same sort of feeling while editing or writing. Sometimes the characters or scenes linger long after I've shut my notebook. It's encouraging, and with 31 pages of editing to go in the draft of Book 1, it's nice to feel like I'm doing something right.

I pressed on with book 2 last night, and from this point forward will be writing in first person perspective. It's getting easier and doesn't sound as stiff. I feel like I've really found the voice of my main character, and that is a wonderful thing. Now that I've gotten all comfy with that, it does mean more editing than I anticipated, but I do feel like I've suddenly found the right direction after getting turned around in a maze. I was getting pretty frustrated before. I haven't done a test page yet, but changing the perspective feels right for me.

Don't be afraid to make changes when you really feel like you need to. When it comes to a story you really care about, gut feelings can be right a lot of the time. Of course, don't rush to change things too drastically unless you want to have more frustration later. Test the waters, try things out, and play with your story a little. You'll know if the change is right.

And now I better get to work.

Working Like I Should Be

Writers should write every day, whether they feel like it or not. When working on Book 2, I usually don't. It's changed a lot since I wrote the first semi-awful version of it ten years ago, and quite frankly, I have no idea what I'm going to do with it right now. I sort of have an idea that stems from the first book, but even that's not a complete construction. That's why this is a process.

I don't feel too inspired today, either, even though I know that once I get into editing or writing, I really get into it. That's a good thing. I'm getting lost in my own story, and to me, that means I'm really feeling it. The more that happens, the more confident I feel. Of course, lack of confidence isn't an excuse to slack off. I still have to work.

The hardest part is when I feel so dissatisfied with what I've written that I'm not sure where to take it or what to do with it. Deep down, I know that working anyway will fix the problems. It's just the absolute massiveness of it.

I started writing in the new perspective last night, when working on the raw draft of Book 2. Blech.

But it will get better, as long as I keep working.

And maybe keep making charts. Those are fun!

A Change

So I figured I'd dash this off post-workout. I've been working away at Book 2, writing a page at a time, and it's developing more nicely than I imagined it would. Still a long ways to go.

Last night, I made a decision about my books that will change them quite a bit, though for right now, until I play with a page or two, the change is only tentative. I'm changing the perspective of my books. What I have now doesn't feel quite comfy enough. This isn't something I'm going to dive into, but I hope that it will turn out well in the end. Of course, this means a more editing than I expected, but ultimately it will end up more satisfying, even if the overhaul doesn't work out. Now that I've made this tentative decision, I feel a little more excited than before, and that's always a great feeling.

The Revelations of Editing

As I get further through the manuscript I printed, I'm starting to see a pattern. I edit fewer things. I like it more. There's a definite disconnect somewhere. The beginning moves to quickly to be believable right now, and the overall effect is of two different books. But the pattern I'm starting to see in the part I'm editing is a settled one. When I write the part I'm adding to the front, and when I put in the little details that need to be everywhere else, it will feel finished. But for now, my decisions on the story are settled, and it's a pretty good feeling. I suppose that's the entire point of editing.

In other news, I think I'm going to do some redecorating around here, visually, so stay tuned for a new look. I'm also planning on adding some handbags to my Etsy shop, which has nothing to do with my book, but it's fun and occasionally brings me in a few extra bucks.

I'm psyched for the finish of my book being so near, and though I can't realistically give you a deadline, I do hope to have it out by the beginning of April as an e-book. I know, if I keep working hard and keep the hunger and focus that I need, it's going to happen, and that is what keeps me going.

I Missed A Day

Yesterday, I worked on Book 2 not at all. I didn't realize this until this morning when I realized that I also forgot to mark the squares on the chart. Oy.

I don't want to be all "this doesn't bode well" because things like this happen. I was very tired yesterday after I got off work. I did write in it today, and this is the post. I'm going to finish editing the ten pages I started yesterday. It also appears that I will have another book review for this Friday, so yay!

Okay. Off to the pages.

I Like Charts: 31 More Days

Happy New Year!

I made two more charts for my wall, little squares that I will fill out in crayon.

One is for keeping track of things like Pippa's walks, because she's full grown now and sorta gaining more weight than I'd like her to do so.

The other is another writing chart. It has three groups of 31 squares for each group.

 One is for editing, which I am working on for the first book. Another is for working on Book 2, which I will be starting later tonight. The last is for blogging about it, because it's a good warmup and the activity that helps the other two get done.

So basically, I'll be posting every day for 31 days (the month of January, basically) so I can get more stuff done. Pretty exciting.

Book 1 is coming along nicely, and will be longer now that I've changed a scene to make it part of something longer, part of the mystery that leads to the climactic scene in the book...which just makes more questions for my characters. Making this story is so much fun, and expanding it and making it better is even more fun.

So here's to 31 days of working away at a goal. May it be an awesome 31 days.

Being Old-Fashioned

I just got rid of two characters again, and I could not be more relieved.

The difference is, these two didn't start out as main characters. They were side characters first, in an original version of the book's opening. Then they were cut out from that scene, only mentioned offhandedly by the main characters. Then they popped up again in a new part of the book, and I was gonna let them stay there.

But they didn't do anything and I never planned for them to. They were props, not even useful as diversions to throw the reader off. Just there, existing, at best to force an idea on the reader, and I'm not happy with the idea in question. 

So they had to go. Another guy is staying, but I have big plans for him as this story moves along.

It was a very quickly made, very final decision that came as I was editing the new part the other night. I printed out the manuscript and put it in a binder. I like that better because I get a better feel for things. It's more hands on. I have a red pen, and I jot things down on the page and slap sticky notes at crucial points I want to change. I discover more about the book that way. It's not on a screen, giving me eye strain. It's like working on a sculpture in soft clay. Take away here, add there, and find more hidden in the story. More possibilities.

It's old fashioned, sure. No doubt about that at all. But before I rediscovered this technique, I would always feel a little apprehensive about opening that Microsoft Word file. It was intimidating, I suppose. But with 270 pages of paper, a binder, and a red pen, I feel more comfortable with it even as it grows longer and becomes more.

It made me be able to let go of two characters who offered nothing. It's making my book more of what I imagined it to be, and I love that.

So here's to being old-fashioned. And good books, too.

Hunger

I'm excited because I've reached the first peak in this stage of the novel, which involves editing. This was editing at its most basic form, correcting spelling errors and problems with capitalization and punctuation that resulted from me only typing fast without stopping to clean things up a bit. So that's done, and officially the book has 58,052 words.

It's one annoying peak, but there are a few more ahead. There's at least one more scene I need to write from scratch, and there's a lot of refining that needs going at the end. In my haste, those parts ended up choppy. Part of that is the main character and how she thinks. A lot of it isn't.

Maybe you've read a little about the iPhone's development history. The phone was almost done. They'd put the thing together. It was a phone, a nice, sleek, gorgeous Apple product that was, on the outside, a whole package.

On the inside, it didn't work.

Steve Jobs said, "We don't have a product yet."

Well, I don't have a book yet. There are almost 60,000 words of what is structured like a book. What looks like a manuscript. The manuscript contains a story. There's even a name, and I toy with cover design ideas in my head.

But I don't have a book yet.

I'm close, but one thing I won't do is publish now. It's not ready. There's stuff I need to say, and although I now have what I can call a rough draft, it needs to cook.

I'm pretty excited, though. The first draft is finished, and the story is cooking.

And, I must say, I'm pretty hungry.

Not A Lot To Say

I worked all day today. I didn't do any typing, but I'm going to do some now. Tomorrow is the last day of 14 days to book. I should have worked harder and longer on typing it. At least the raw draft is done. That's something at least.

Basically, today I played with using MyPaint and Gimp together and actually came up with some nice designs for the book cover. One element I want on the cover looks good as I did it in Gimp and MyPaint, but it also looks hand-drawn, which isn't what I want. It's a small, simple thing, so I'm thinking I'll have to make one out of polymer clay, photograph it, edit it insanely, and then add it. Also, I came up with a title for the book yesterday, to be revealed later.

It's going well, and I'm still pumped.

Typing is Fun!

I just typed a new part. Completely new.

I feel like that's pretty significant because for the last year, I've been typing things in a disjointed, unorganized way. It stunk, and I didn't connect with any of it.

But today, I'm totally connecting. Despite some moments in the past few days where I've felt like the book isn't going to work, actually seeing these words on a screen is pretty cool.

Last night I wrote out a last scene to close the first book. It needs work, but it's there, and I like that it's there.

I have this warm and fuzzy feeling about it. Granted, that also might be because it's October, the weather is gorgeous, and my fiance is moving down here next week.

I think I'll just say that this book is one of the many reasons for the warm fuzzies right now.

I am hoping that in the next few days, I can have some excerpts up for you. Some good ones. Not from the first version of the book, but from this new one.

It's really looking like I will have this book ready by my birthday, and it will be available on Smashwords and Amazon for the digital version. I'll announce when it's ready.

Which will be soon.

Yay!

Oops

I was so ambitious to see the end of the book that I finished.

And then today, at the doctor's office, I thought of another scene I need to add. At the end. It's important, and would wrap up the plot while providing an opening for the sequels.

But where was it the other day, when I left the two main characters sort of hanging?

I don't really know. I took a day off from my book to do some professional stuff. In all honesty, I'm a little frustrated with myself. I got all excited, but there's a couple of pages stil to go, at the very least.

*sigh*

I guess, it did serve as a warning that I said I was sort of finished.

Back to work.

Finished. Sort Of.

I did it.

Today, I finished the raw draft of my book.

Don't get me wrong. It needs a heck of a lot of work, and right now, I have some professional writing that needs to be done before Wednesday. That is money I will make, and it comes first for right now.

But I finished the book.

It took me almost six years, but I finished. I sat in my desk chair in a chilly old building on a gorgeous fifty-degrees and rainy day, my favorite kind, and wrote the last scene.

I've gotten over one hill now. The typing hill is a little shorter, and the editing mountain is even taller, given that I have the need to constantly improve until I can step back and say "one more word would ruin this."

But it's done. I still have half of 14 Days to Book left, and I'm going to use that to type and edit. But there's no rush now, unless I want to rush at the birthday present I said I'd give myself, the gift of a novel, published (at least in digital form) by my birthday. If it's a couple days late, that's okay. It can be a Halloween present.

This version of the book took a lot longer than its predecessor.

And it's finished.

And I like it.

So coming soon, as the book is being typed and edited, are some excerpts. Short ones.

I do hope you'll enjoy them.

Today, I'm just excited about the milestone. And let me tell you, the view is amazing.

Slower Day

Today, I only wrote four pages in my book. I'll probably work on it a little more before I go to bed, but I'm starting to think that maybe the raw draft will be done sooner than even the time frame I set. That means I can finish typing it.

Which means I can edit it.

Which means formatting.

That means distribution.

So I might be able to give myself the birthday present of a finished book after all.

Hey, that frees NaNoWriMo up for the second book. Nice.

There I Go With Another Goal

It's the second to last day of 30 days, 30 posts, 30 chapters. I have one more day where I am obligated, by myself, to post here and work at least one or two pages in my book.

Though the book is nearer to being finished than it was, I'm not exactly in the last chapter. I've worked out some problems and discovered the joy in writing again, with a pen and a piece of paper and my bad handwriting and tendency to scribble notes where they'll fit.

Before I started this, one of my excuses for why I wasn't any closer to finishing was that I had some things about the story that were bothering, and that needed fixing, and that I was stuck. Looking back after the past month, I could have fixed that all by just sitting down to write like I used to. Now I'm closer to finishing than I ever have been since starting the rewrite a few years ago. I'm pretty excited.

Also, in just a bit, a character I liked but previously deleted will show up, for just a bit. I think she'll be around later, too. We'll see.

So here's my new thing, since the book isn't actually finished like I wanted, I'm going to set a goal. I will be finished with this book, in this raw draft, by October 14, and I will post my progress here. Every day. For two weeks.

This should be good.

The Third Book

I filled in the blocks last night on my chart, and I only have like five days of this left in which there is any way to track myself writing and posting and stuff. I think maybe I should make a similar chart for planning my wedding and workouts. I like feeling accomplished each day that I write something, so I'll probably keep this up.

It's a dim and dreary Saturday, perfect for a cup of coffee and a nice thick book about dragons or vampires or magic schools. I love days like this. It was a cloudy, gloomy day one January when I finished the second draft of my second book. I didn't start typing it yet. In fact, that one was never typed. I do still have the notebook with the second draft in it, as well as the notebooks, tied together with yarn so I could easily reference, that contained the first draft.

I'm not sure when I started work on the third book. It was sometime my senior year of high school, I'm sure. What I'm not so sure about is what happened between my perky, cheerful, cliche-ridden second book and the beginning of the third one. I can specify one point where the story turned. A character died. Not a main character at that point, but the man died of cardiac arrest after running into the throne room and declaring that war had begun. Sometime after that, I decided, while a classical station was playing in my room, that a central character, a blind girl who was an archer, would die in the third book.

That was before any of the third book was even written.

The story took a darker turn. Not in a bad way, of despair and hopelessness, but I definitely reached back to my roots with it. I was raised on spooky stories and legends. I liked to be spooked. Not terrified out of my mind, but I appreciated a good chill now and then. Note that I didn't like horror movies, and didn't watch them. My first experience with the genre was Jeepers Creepers, which was disappointing. That whole movie was based on a Batman arc where Batman mutated into a bat thing. Seriously. It was bad. Give me zombies any day.

While the book didn't turn suddenly scary, my mind held on to the ghost stories and legends and pictures of spooky houses. It was random as far as the stories go. There had been no foreshadowing of this part, no mention of it in passing, no gun on the table when one went off. Suddenly, my two main characters were exploring this creepy old house in the countryside, because they'd heard rumors, and there had been disappearances.

I didn't hold back. Dust, dirt, freaky graffiti on the wall, broken old toys arranged meticulously on shelves, and an old doll that stared. I still think it was a legitimately creepy scene, like a good H.P. Lovecraft story.

And it was nothing like the original. At all. Somehow, between finishing the second book and starting the third, it all changed. The story, the tone, the scale of the story. Suddenly it was dark and intense and urgent. The main character questioned at all why she did anything that happened in the first book, and whether it was pointless.

I never finished that book. By that time, the work had changed so much that I simply decided to start over in college. I remember passing the time at the bookstore job I had, writing down book stuff when I wasn't outlining reports for my correspondence class, sometimes on paper circles in the cafe, when I didn't have my little notebook on me.

Thing is, I know exactly where the book was headed. I knew that a lot had to be done to get there, and that a lot had to be rewritten to provide the characters a way to arrive there.

So I started over.

At some point, I think I let my writing grow up with me. When I started, I was the same age as the main character. I think the story wasn't ready then, just as the rewrite isn't quite finished, though for different reasons regarding both.

I'm glad I didn't finish the third book, but I sure am glad I started it.

I Swear I Saw It

I randomly got really excited about my book last night, because for the first time, I can really visualize it.

Okay, maybe not so random.

I also had a dream last night about spaceships crashing and genetic testing. Anyway, back to the random excitement of memory.

I may have told this story before, but here it goes again. Sometime this summer, I was reading Ragecomics when I came across one that had a girl with a Poker Face seeing a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey on her teacher's desk. When I saw that, I pictured in my mind a copy of my novel, finished. Printed. Bound, with a dust-jacket.

I think that little glimpse of finishing has really been a motivator. I thank God that He gave me that little gift.

I'm getting closer to the end, and I know where the story is going. I literally didn't two weeks ago. I'm so thankful for the idea to do this 30 day thing. I might keep it up even after the 30 days are up.

I'm now looking at the daunting challenge of self-publishing. I mean, not just uploading it to Kindle. That's not too hard, because Amazon isn't strict about how it looks. Smashwords is, but not even that's horrendous. Formatting and making a cover are about all you need to do for a digital book. It's not comparatively that much.

Not when you put it up against a print book.

I've been comparing different companies. CreateSpace versus Lulu versus Lightning Source, all of them with pros and cons. The biggest issue is cover design. I'm not a graphic designer, but I'm also not one to make something terrible and just throw it out there. I'm picky and meticulous and too broke to hire someone to design the cover, so I'm going to tackle it myself.

I'm not worrying anymore about it being all for nothing. It's all for something. Someone will read my book. I've sure as heck enjoyed writing it.

I'll be happy if I can just fill a gap for a reader somewhere.

Because before anything else happened, that was why I started writing.

I hope someone enjoys.

Music

When I'm at the gym on the elliptical, listening to Pandora on my phone, my thoughts turn to the story I'm writing.

Like a lot.

And I realized some time back that my favorite songs form a sort of soundtrack to my books. I imagine scenes in my head to correspond with the songs, and that really helps.

Now, I don't absolutely have to be plugged in to my music to write, especially where pen and ink are concerned. The other day I got a lot done just because of the peace and quiet at work. It was great. But today, in the car on the way back from a family day trip to my Gramma's house, I turned on my Pandora app, which is constantly set to an Angels and Airwaves station, and went at it.

I got a lot done and left somewhat of a cliffhanger for myself. There's some definite character stuff and I'm almost to the end of that chapter. It was a really great part I was happy to get finished, because I liked it so much. I accomplished something today.

I guess all this to say, when the book is nearer to being ready, I'm going to put up a list of the songs that have found their way into my story, and I'll link to any videos I can find. You've probably heard them before; even better. It's really just an insight thing.

Anyway. I'm just excited about the amount of work I got done today. Along with the stuff I've figured out lately, it seems like it's all coming together.

It's a great feeling.

This Is Getting Harder

Man, I'm writing every day but I don't feel like I'm saying anything. I mean, I could get political, but that's a little too easy right now, and I need some time to get that post together.

The book's going well, but right now I'm staying up too late and writing far too little in it each time. But a little bit of writing is getting done, which is more than I can say for before I started this thing. I wish I had a long time ago. I guess I just didn't think about it, and I figured "oh well, I love to write, it'll just come automatically."

It doesn't.

Even when you enjoy something creative, it's never automatic. You'll want to put things off, and you'll get things wrong, and suddenly it's a week later and you haven't done anything.

I think this is why people get stressed over weddings.

Well, that clicked.

If I Could Do That Every Day

So last night, between the last posting and the time I went to bed, I got out my pen and notebook and went to work. Though I had to make myself stop since it was getting quite late, I made myself stop at a good pause point, with an idea of what's coming next. That's the best part.

The hardest part, honestly, is staying in my main character's head. I don't go into any other characters' heads; they are revealed through dialog and action. It's a good thing the book's a raw draft. That means I can fix it later. I'm up to the challenge.

Tonight I hope to sit down a little earlier with my notebook, especially now that I have an idea of what's happening next. I mean, I know how the book will end, but the details are super important, especially what comes next. It's finally exciting. There's a home stretch, and even if the raw draft isn't quite finished by the end of this 30 day thing, then a good huge important part of it will be. And that is truly exciting.

And Again

So, technically, y'all will be getting two posts on this date. Oh well. I stay up too late.

So far, I've faithfully taken some time every day, before I go to bed, to write a blog post and work on the book. It's honestly getting a little harder, but I like filling out the chart, and knowing I can each night is really cool.

I know, it's sad, isn't it?

Anyway, it's really getting good. Because I've exclusively been working in pen and paper, writing is fun again. I feel like there's no such thing as writer's block when I'm doing it the old-fashioned way. I don't sit and stare at a blinking cursor or scroll desperately to look for things or get distracted and start editing. I just write, and it feels good to be doing that again. It would probably be a whole lot quicker to only write on the computer, but that's not me.

When I'm working on the novel, I use a speckled composition notebook and a Pilot pen. I don't use anything else. I even replace the cartridges, because it is cheaper than buying new pens, and Walmart started carrying blue again. I think it's the little ritual there that feels so good, or maybe the way the ink flows so well and how the blue just jumps off the white page.

The first version of this book, for the first and second drafts, were completely handwritten in whatever ballpoint I could find, on stacks of paper stapled together. Literally. I kept the sheets in my pocketbook and I carried backups. I still have the paper, and I have no plans to get rid of them. Most of the book was written in my ninth grade World Geography class. When the second draft was finished, I typed it on my family's Gateway desktop.

Things have come a long way since then, but there's still nothing quite like putting pen to paper and just writing. Such a good feeling.