Oh No Not Another One

I had one of those dreams again last night, as happens every few months or so. Suddenly, it's my wedding day, and I'm all dressed up, not at all how I want to be, and nothing is right and everything is ruined and there's country music playing and there are guests with jeans on.

In this dream, to my annoyance, I wasn't wearing the awesome dream dress that I had, in the dream world and in real life, already bought and paid completely for.

The ceremony looked like it was taking place in a Ruritan Club building in Dundas, Virginia (you've probably never heard of it; if you have, we might be cousins), where my mom's family has their annual family reunion. After the ceremony, when I was standing around, in the dream I said to my fiance "This isn't what I wanted. We'll have a real one later."

It's the first time in these types of dreams that I've done anything like that.

And I know why that particular dream occurred last night. Right before I went to bed, I was talking with him about our wedding, and having a little stressed moment because basically the only thing I've decided is that I want a chocolate wedding cake and also Doctor Who.

I've finally gotten him to agree to make some input. It's his wedding too. I don't think this is out of generosity on my part; I just think that the wedding needs to have elements of both of us. I need to start work on the cake topper soon. I at least know where I'm going to get the cake. I have my dress and my shoes and I need to get a good calligraphy pen so I can work at the invitations (once we set a date...) but even those are already designed. (By me.)

I don't even want to begin to think about the food right now.

Now we just need to figure out a venue for everything.

Ideally, the TARDIS would be nice because then we could just have everyone get to the church, load up, and have a nice, no fuss destination wedding (and also make a room for me and my friends to get ready on board.)

One can only wish.

The good thing is, I've now gotten my fiance into the planning process.

I was also skinny in my dream.

So at least that's something.

Worth It?

There are lots of articles and blog posts and such that will tell you that if you're stressed at work and it's really causing you problems and you want to quit your job, you should. Be ready to face the consequences, and don't assume it will get awesome after that, but go ahead.

Pretty convincing, right?

Heck yeah. We all want that validation that the not so great idea we have is indeed the right course of action. The reality is, a lot of us have bills to pay, and the tiny bit we get in exchange for loads of our time is hard to part with. If my fiance makes enough to support us both, I'll definitely want to write full time. But right now, I can't.

I think everyone faces that day when they realize that "help me out" means "do my work for me" and "community effort" very likely means "get the part-timer to do it." But hey, money.

If that's the kind of job you have, never stay comfortable. It won't get better, barring your employer firing himself and everyone but you. What can you do? Make it better. Apply for something else. Something better. Odds are you have the experience. And when you get that job, quit your old one.

Only you can improve your own situation. Never forget that.